Being invisible was exhausting. Like bouncing off transparent walls in an attempt to escape, only no one else sees the walls.
Final Rating: 4/5
Being invisible was exhausting. Like bouncing off transparent walls in an attempt to escape, only no one else sees the walls.
Hello roller coaster of everything that could possibly go wrong in your life.
It was almost as good as the others in the series, but there was something missing - the too fast pace and worst of all the fact that i felt that Anthony was hypocrite the moment he got closer to someone who was almost as damaged as his older brother.
He worked on it though and tried to help, but it felt like going nowhere.
Maybe that's it?
Anyway, it could have been more. Definitely could have used more to explore everything about Patrick, Bren and Anthony, considering they are the main characters of this story and it was equally divided between their POVs.
And no, it's not a love triangle, so don't worry.
►►► STORY & CHARACTERS:
Anthony has been the forgotten, invisible child that no one actually cared about because his already traumatized brother took all of the attention on him - which hurt a 10 year old boy who had to watch his whole life turn upside down...
This left him seething with hate, with rage, with the fact that he was invisible to everyone he cared about, and people kept leaving him one by one and he went spiraling more and more.
After a party that he went to with his best friend, it turned into a disaster and finally gave him an excuse to run away from home (ofc not thinking about what it would do to their mother - the one who almost lost her oldest son brutally) and chose to go to Detroit to meet up his online friend.
It was just a string of good luck when his car broke down in front of a store, managed by Patrick and his brother Bren. Two of them (or actually Patrick) decide to take Anthony in, and help him out until his car gets fixed.
Therefore he stays with both of them and finds out that Bren has suffered extreme trauma and refuses to leave his home; while Patrick is forced to take over their family liquor store because Bren (whose dream it was to take over it) wasted away in their own home, refusing to ever enter the store again.
And Patrick can't leave his only sibling alone, not while he is in the constant panic state whenever he doesn't feel safe.
They took Anthony in unconditionally, and then Patrick starts having doubts about the mysterious friend Jay Anthony was supposed to meet.
►►► OVERALL:
First of all, I'm glad that slowly but surely Anthony gets out of his self pity and gets someone to love him. He is damaged, he is also broken, but he also was too passive about everything and let the pain get too much to handle, therefore this whole situation with him running away.
But I am glad that he finally put himself together again and that he finally found understanding for both Aaron's and Bren's situations and used his experience to try to get things going and help.
But also, age difference (8). If you are uncomfortable with it, don't bother. It's not anything too far, but it may be what people dislike to see. Considering my grandparents fell in love with the same age difference, i don't find it a big deal.
just the fact that this story has a happy ending that Anthony deserved, and I loved the roles of his family (and ofc i was glad to see Aaron again <3) and that made me happy.
►►► OTHER IMPORTANT INFO:
⚠ TYPE OF SERIES: series ⚠ Point of View:third, 3 povs ⚠ Cliffhanger: no ⚠ Triggers: depression ⚠ Love triangle: no ⚠ Angst: 60% ⚠ Supernatural:no ⚠ Explicit content:yes
Caspian laughed. “You remember when we first met?” Zed gaped at him. “Of course I do. I remember every little thing. How you p
Final Rating: 5/5
Caspian laughed. “You remember when we first met?” Zed gaped at him. “Of course I do. I remember every little thing. How you pretended to be stuck up a tree. How you made a den with me even though you had a fantastic treehouse yards away.” “I remember how lonely I was. How lonely you were. That was the beginning of our story.” “And it will go on forever.” Caspian smiled. “Forever.”
Where do I even begin? Because this was a story worth remembering. This was a story about families and how not all of them are perfect, and how found families are sometimes the best families there are. It's a story of love that lasted for years, of the two teenagers who struggled to find each other again and again and again and being broken apart and taken from each other by the betrayal so horrible it made even my stomach turn inside.
This was not easy to read. This was really heavy, abuse heavy story of two survivors who were tortured by the ones who were supposed to protect them: one by being psychically abused, the other being mentally abused. Both equally damaging: the one leaving scars on the body, the other leaving the scars on the soul.
And yet these 2 broken souls managed to reunite again and again and again through ten years, trying to get together, but many consequences, many issues, many problems set them apart again and again.
You want slow burn? You've got it here.
Barbara Elsborg is certainly dubbed Queen of Angst for a reason. Recently I read her Edge of Forever that made me cry and laugh and smile so much it hurt me. But this one - THIS ONE OUTRIGHT SLAYED ME AND MY FEELINGS. HOW DARE YOU? I HOPE YOU ARE PROUD.
Want to laugh? You've got it here.
“Do you have to suck all the air out of my mouth?” Zed gasped. “Hey, I give it back.” “We’ll pass out through lack of oxygen.”
Want to cry? Here you go. Angst as much as you want and more.
►►► STORY & CHARACTERS:
It begins with a flamingo.
“Too-wit too-woo.” The response was a laugh. “That was a really good impression of a flamingo. But flamingos don’t live up trees.” Caspian grinned and looked down at him. “How do you know?” “Well, that’s true. I’m not an expert on flamingos, but you’re obviously rare because you’re not pink.” “I’m extremely rare. One of a kind.” “Ah, right.” “What are you doing with those logs?” “Building a den.” “Why?” Caspian asked. “To hide from flamingos, obviously.” Caspian’s smile widened. “Now I know about it, you’re doomed.”
Sorry, it begins with Zed. It begins with Caspian.
Zed (14), whose family is a wreck: his father is strict in his faith and doesn't allow Zed to do anything that goes against it, and goes to extremes in beating him up for every single thing he does. Related or unrelated, it doesn't matter because his father hates him enough to beat him to inch of his life if he feels like it. And Zed; Zed who struggles with the fact that he is gay, that he loves playing music, the fact that he dislikes doing as his father commands and yet has no other choice, one day meets a teenager who is as broken as he is. Zed, whose brother will always be held as a water on a palm, who will always be better than him, who didn't do anything to stop their father, yet claimed that he loved him.
Caspian (15), a dyslexic inventor who just wants to prove to his family: to his father, his mother, his twin sisters and older brother, that he is worth something and that he can be someone that will change things and set things into motion, but no one is taking him seriously and he keeps failing in his classes and lessons because of it. And yet, when Zed trespasses on his property (unknowingly) to hide from his father, Caspian shows him his tree house in which they can spend time safely.
“It doesn’t matter what other people think of you. What matters is how you see yourself. You’re sliding down and you need to put your hands out and stop yourself.”
And it means a lot of them, because they are emotional supports and crutches for each other.
And yet, when things got too much, and when Zed has had enough of his father's rage, he and Caspian make a deal to run away the same day except.... Except Caspian gets betrayed in the most vicious and the cruelest ways by his own brother and father and ends up having his life destroyed. Completely, utterly, devastatingly destroyed and broken into pieces.
Therefore, he never shows up, and Zed is forced to run away alone, broken and lost and without any support. Until Zed gets into more trouble; but eventually does the right thing and meets the people who finally give a damn.
It's a damn cruel fate, that the horribly abused teenager finds happiness through the years while the other mentally abused teenager falls so deep in depression, starts losing any self-worth he had, tries so hard to hang on but slowly getting more and more lost to the fact that his life is being destroyed, slowly and utterly, by a mistake that he didn't commit, and just the fact that he had to deal with his panic attacks on his own and that he felt like he was dying every time broke a part of me too.
All I’ve emerged with is a warped sense of pride that I never did admit to something I didn’t do, but the price I’ve paid wasn’t worth it. I’m not defiant, I’m broken.” “Then we’ll get you mended.”
But like i said. The fate and the people and the connections they have every time pull them together and tear them apart, until it becomes too much for Caspian and too much for Zed.
But this is not a sad tragic story. No, this is a story of love that thrives and just waits to be found again.
(Do i have to mention how much i loved Henry and Jonas? How much i loved their support and their love and their relationship with them? I can't. Do i have to mention how much i hated their families for what they had done, for what they put their sons through to save other's skin? I loathed every time their fathers opened their mouths, whenever their siblings ignored the pain and suffering they brought them.)
►►► OVERALL:
What i really loved is that they started with 14 and 15, and ended the story ten years later. This really was a story of them.
The only problem I did have is that it had a very negative potrayal of almost every Muslim in the book; except for the main character Zed; but it was dealt with overtime and I don't know - It's a really damn big problem, but i also can't ignore everything this book made me feel. But I do warn thee: be careful because there is not really good representation of good and kind Muslim.
I don't know how much you are familiar with my reviews, but this book would have gotten straight 6/5 star rating from me and i would consider it masterpiece, if there was not that fact from above.
But in every other thing: in romance, in relationship, in happiness, in sadness, in angst, in love, in found families, and dealing with the abusers, it gets straight 5 stars from me.
►►► OTHER IMPORTANT INFO:
⚠ TYPE OF SERIES: standalone ⚠ Point of View:third pov, 2 characters ⚠ Cliffhanger: no ⚠ Triggers: child abuse, terrorism and terroristic attacks, car accidents, prison violence, attempted rape ⚠ Love triangle: no ⚠ Angst: the damn huge amount of it ⚠ Supernatural: no ⚠ Explicit content: yes, and oh boy is it written godly ⚠ Note: prepare tissues, you will cry a lot and read it in a day
The scars didn't matter. Aaron's body, his heart, and his soul were so fucking beautiful.
Barnaby, if you wanted to kilFinal Rating: 4.5/5
The scars didn't matter. Aaron's body, his heart, and his soul were so fucking beautiful.
Barnaby, if you wanted to kill me, you did a find job putting Zach from Finding Zach in it cause damn i'm now a trainwreck after a storm.
Anyway, this is a direct sequel to Aaron, even if it's happening 3 years later. Which was great, because the flow of the story (or the recovery process for both of them) is more realistic.
Everyone has to find a way to deal with their own trauma, but if this becomes too much on the people that care about you, you start to feel unwanted and and not worth their time. It's a common self-depreciation and self-hate over something that you had no control of and it's hard to recover that control and that part of yourself.
►►► STORY & CHARACTERS:
This one is dealing with that: abandonment and control. It's one of the topics that had to be talked about and solved, because Aaron is lucky: lucky to find a person that really, really loves him.
Also their families. All of them have problems. All of them had gotten screwed over by their lives with tragedy taking place. In Aaron's family: they lost their oldest son and had gotten only a shell of him back. This doesn't sit well for his younger brothers, because they don't know exactly what happened and therefore react differently than those who know.
Or Henry Thomas, Spencer's father, who is now on AA and trying so hard to get rid of alcohol from his system, who finds a girlfriend, and uses his research of Aaron to help other victims to find reasons to live.
And finally, on Aaron and Spencer themselves:
Aaron is trying his best, but it comes hard and he is still not figuring out how to completely get himself or his control back. Even after 3 years, except he is now able to function much more and much better than before.
When an offer comes to work for a big company, and it comes to both of them, Spencer accepts: except it requires him to move out and Aaron's world comes crushing down.
But they will survive, because if there is something about both of them, it's that they are survivors, but they must face challenges.
►►► OVERALL:
It's all about getting your control back, of recovery, of joy found in right people, of support and love.
What i loved is that it dealt with missing stuff from the first book, therefore concluding part of the story and getting rid of some demons.
Excellent book, moving on to the next one!
►►► OTHER IMPORTANT INFO:
⚠ TYPE OF SERIES: series ⚠ Point of View: third pov, 2 povs ⚠ Cliffhanger: no ⚠ Triggers: rape recovery ⚠ Love triangle: no ⚠ Angst: 70% ⚠ Supernatural: no ⚠ Explicit content: yes
Final Rating: 4.5/5 Final Rating for the entire series: 4.125
“Can I get your cell phone number so we can text like normal antisocial human bein
Final Rating: 4.5/5 Final Rating for the entire series: 4.125
“Can I get your cell phone number so we can text like normal antisocial human beings, since we are both too fucked up to have a conversation?”
Oh, this book... This is about recovery and healing and finding people who can help after it get's too much to deal with.
This is a story of a teenager who lost all hope for his recovery, and of a deaf teenager who only wanted to have a honest friend and someone who would look at him like he was normal.
The whole theme, how they did the recovery, how they faced with panic attacks and how they healed each other is not lost anywhere in this book, in fact it is done with patience.
Recovery is hard, but it's possible to be healed again. Even if it's in small doses.
Also i wish I had highlighted more quotes because it was very quotable i just read it so fast i forgot to do it ^_^'''.
►►► STORY & CHARACTERS:
Aaron was the role model at 16, a popular guy, who enjoyed his life as much as possible, until it all went to hell when he and his best friend Juliette got kidnapped and tortured. Except Juliette got killed and he was almost dead by the time help arrived. This assault on them left him broken, an empty and void shell of himself and no one, not even his 2 brothers, nor his parents, nor any therapist could help.
His head was a fucking scary place to be.
Spencer is a deaf person trying so hard to be recognized as "normal" which is something most of people except his father don't give him. He learned how to adapt to the environment and just wants and needs someone who will look past his deafness and see a person that he is.
But then, what would Spencer know about normal?
Two years after the attack, Aaron is backed into a corner into going for a college, coincidentally the same one as Spencer, and they meet by Spencer accidentally triggering Aaron into a panic attack.
Then they got seated next to each other. Then they got assigned to do the same project. And they realize that they could be what the other needs.
I loved the fact that even side characters got enough room and space to develop, and I really loved how this whole friendship between Aaron and Spencer was handled considering all the things that happened and how it turned into more once Aaron was finally able to make progress.
►►► OVERALL:
I want so bad to give it whole five stars, but I will wait until i read Spencer because it's a direct sequel and i have a feeling it's gonna be the finish I needed. (And then I discovered there were another 2 books after and I'm eager to read them too! And yes, i'm skipping Painting Fire on the Air for now.)
Mostly because this one left some things unfinished, so it's not very good reading it as a stand alone. Therefore, I am hoping for conclusions in these next books.
►►► OTHER IMPORTANT INFO:
⚠ TYPE OF SERIES: series ⚠ Point of View:third, 2 povs ⚠ Cliffhanger: no ⚠ Triggers: rape/sexual assault, kidnapping, violence, scars, panic attacks ⚠ Love triangle: no ⚠ Angst: 80% ⚠ Supernatural: no ⚠ Explicit content: yes ⚠ Note: be warned because some of the kindapping scenes get detailed out
“I don’t want more sense! (...) Not if sense means I’ll stop loving anyone. What is there besides people that’s worth h
Final rating: 5/5 stars
“I don’t want more sense! (...) Not if sense means I’ll stop loving anyone. What is there besides people that’s worth holding on to?”
This was a blast. I honestly did not think I would love it this much - stand alones are usually not perfect. But this one is as close to perfection as it could be (my only problem being the inability to love main characters, but I found them well done).
I was pleasantly surprised with this book - it was completely explained, it was fast paced, with a strong world building and amazing setting. Overall, greatly written story told from the first point of view by the main female character.
The side characters are really well done - they have characters of their own and they are not just merely there. Even those who appeared shortly had a nicely done character. Also loved the fact that the royals here do something instead of practicing politics. Our princes are war heroes and are responsible when it comes to war and their duties. One of them is sided toward politics, but is still a respected leader, while the other one gives more accent to the deeds and accomplishments, including his tactics, war skills and abilities.
The magic is the word type - not on English, but on the 'other' language. And in some cases, to cast it, you need to sing it. There are also lot of potions, spells and magic tomes we read about in the book. Another big plus.
There are also wonderfully strong heroines with strong character and capabilities to rock the world. Was really proud of (view spoiler)[ Kasia, Alosha and later even Agnieszka (hide spoiler)]. If you are searching a book with strong heroines - here they are! (I am personally tired of reading about whiny, weak, always depending on their man characters. While Agni is a bit weak and cowardly and whiny in the beginning, she changes when she begins to understand and becomes strong enough and she definitely doesn't need the Dragon to rock the world.)
► STORY & WORLD BUILDING:
Between the warring kingdoms of Polnya and Rosya, there is a force called the Wood - dangerous forest that is alive: every tree, every plant, every creature that it spawned through the years. And it is spreading with the every chance it gets and is kidnapping people whenever it can. The people taken by the forest 1) don't return or 2) return, but are possessed by it and are capable of killing their own loved ones. The corruption is almost nearly impossible to expel, and for the people taken the only salvation is to kill them by burning, especially if they were taken for the long periods of time.
Agnieszka lives in the village near the wood - not the safest place around, but they don't really want to live their homes, despite living near the biggest danger of their world. Her village, and other surrounding the Wood are under the protection of the Dragon, enigmatic wizard who takes a girl every 10 years as a compensation. When they return, they claim he never touched them, and they are sent back with money for their dowries and never, never had it happened that one of them stayed in their village upon returning. They stay for a while, but leave as soon as possible.
Everyone believes that Kasia, Agni's best friend and most talented of the possible Chosen, will be taken. But things change when the Dragon picks Agni instead. Agni, in her panic, takes time to actually understand the reason why: she is not talented like Kasia, like anyone, and yet he picked her? Why?
And in the meantime, the Wood is implementing a plan - one that could destroy both kingdoms, surrounding villages, the Dragon and his new Chosen. No matter how long it takes, it will try to get what it wants, laying trap by trap...
► CHARACTERS:
◈ Agnieszka lived her entire life knowing that even though she was in the group of the women the Dragon could choose, she probably won't be because every girl born in October like her was in the shadow of Kasia, no matter how talented. But, when she is chosen, she falls into panic - she is not talented in anything of notice, so what now? What is expected of her? What will he do to her? What happens to the girls that he takes for 10 years... why are they different, why are they chosen, what is their purpose? She ends up in panic, defies him, annoys him (sometimes intentionally) and only manages to irritate the Dragon further. But when she finds out - although it takes some time for her to understand what he is teaching her every day - that she was chosen not because she should have been talented at something, but because she has ability to do magic. If only the Dragon would explain to her what he actually wants of her and what she should/should not do, her life would have been easier. {I found her very irritating in the first few chapters - but I understood the panic and fear she was showing, beside other things - and as the book went I found her development much better, as she stopped annoying me and was showing to be a good character given the right condition, chances and situations.}
◈ The Dragon is the most talented and strongest wizard in Polnya. But, after an incident happened, he accepted to go into the tower near Agnieszka's village and keep the Wood from spreading further. He was successful - for decades. Wizards tend to have much longer lifespans, and the Dragon is no exception: he is over 100 years old. But, the Dragon has a very big problem - he is absolutely anti social - he is devoted to the people around him, but he doesn't really care about them except for providing their physical needs and protecting them. He is usually shocked when he actually finds out (after decades!) what the people talk about him behind his back. In short - he has very little patience, is impulsive, quick to anger and feels like many things his kingdom is doing is a giant waste of time because their true enemy is the Wood - and he is the only thing keeping it from spreading further. Doesn't help when he ends up being stuck with the new magic apprentice who is scared, defiant and somewhat clumsy. Would help if he explained things on time, rather than wait for years. {I didn't love him but I didn't hate him either - if i had to choose I would say I liked him enough. While he may not show it often, he is a good man who just needs to work on his social skills. (Especially in the beginning).}
I was almost sorry not to be better, for now I could tell his frustration was that of the lover of beauty and perfection. He hadn’t wanted a student, but, having been saddled with me, he wanted to make a great and skillful witch of me, to teach me his art. I could see, as he made me examples of higher workings, great intricate interweavings of gesture and word that went on like songs, that he loved the work: his eyes grew glittering and dazzled in the spell-light, his face almost handsome with a kind of transcendence. He loved his magic, and he would have shared that love with me.
◈ Others:
◈ Kasia is the girl everyone thought would be chosen by the Dragon. Because of that, the whole village was getting used to the fact that she would be gone soon and therefore were always there for her. But, when she wasn't chosen, she - like the others in the village - were too stunned to accept it. And Kasia struggles to accept the fact that she is free and won't have to spend 10 years of her life closed up. Kasia is very brave, and while her feelings for Agnieszka are not completely positive - both of them love each other too much to be broken by emotions such as envy, jealousy, between them.
◈ The Falcon is another wizard who appears through the book - he is "the second best" - his rash decisions are usually the fault of his negative feelings toward the Dragon - because he knows the Dragon is the greatest wizard in their country.
◈ People sing of Prince Marek as being wonderful, honorable and worthy prince. Too bad when it all falls into water when he shows his true face - in front of anyone, whether they know him or not ((view spoiler)[ Like trying to force himself on Agnieszka just to hurt the Dragon because he believes the Dragon uses the girls he takes as his sexual companions, besides the housework and whatever else he believes in. But his attempt gets solved very quickly and efficiently (although with somewhat bad consequences (view spoiler)[ (hitting someone's head with the tray repeatedly tends to do that to people) (hide spoiler)](hide spoiler)]). Overall, the only thing that lived to his reputation is being a worthy general and leader when it comes to wars. He isn't very fond of his own brother Sigmund, the crown prince, and wants to prove himself and wants to (view spoiler)[save his mother from the Wood, if he ever gets the opportunity (hide spoiler)].
► OVERALL:
In any case, if you pick up this book you will pick up a story that is different and uniquely done (unless I stumble across something with similar idea). While I disliked the MC in the start, I started liking Agni through the book with each action she took and because of her development. Sadly, that cannot be said for the Dragon as he mostly stays the same, but I liked him anyway. His actions were the cause of it. But I didn't mind that - people change through years. And this books spans over few months, more than a year, I believe.
There is no love triangle - another bonus - and the story is explained. I did not find any particular plot hole that would bother me. Despite the MCs and my feelings to them, this story is so damn worth it if you are looking for something different, something great.
I also foolishly believed it was young adult, but with everything that happens, I think it would be best to say it's new adult. In any case, wonderful high fantasy with the inspiration of Slavic countries (mainly Poland) and with a great and fantastic world building. Despite it being in first person view, it has everything a book needs. I'm not fan of first person POVs but I loved this one.
OTHER IMPORTANT INFO: ⚠ Standalone: Yes. ⚠ Point of View: First POV, 1 character. ⚠ Cliffhanger: No. ⚠ Triggers:(view spoiler)[attempted rape (hide spoiler)] ⚠ Love triangle: No, thank god. ⚠ Angst: A bit. ⚠ Supernatural: Yes, a living wood and it's bizarre creatures. ⚠ Explicit content: Mildly explicit. ⚠ Ending type:(view spoiler)[HEA (hide spoiler)] ⚠ Recommended: Yes! ⚠ Note: Wonderful stand alone book - works perfectly for itself and doesn't ever need a sequel....more
Loading...
