Jason Koivu's Reviews > Water for Elephants
Water for Elephants
by
by
![1742824](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p2/1742824.jpg)
Oprah's minions shall no longer rule my reading!
I probably would have disliked this less if I'd read the paperback instead of listening to the audiobook, where the narrator packed too much melodrama into the simplest of actions and mildest of emotions.
I don't think I've ever taken this long to get through an audiobook. Usually, I can just let it run and bust on through by doing boring jobs like yardwork or servicing my lady*. I just plug an audiobook into my ears and knock out those chores. . Both the book and the job whizz by. But instead of doing the dishes or weeding with Water for Elephants, I chose to do other auditory things. The days-long NFL draft came in handy.
* "My lady" is the term I use for my car. Get your mind out of the gutter!
I probably would have disliked this less if I'd read the paperback instead of listening to the audiobook, where the narrator packed too much melodrama into the simplest of actions and mildest of emotions.
I don't think I've ever taken this long to get through an audiobook. Usually, I can just let it run and bust on through by doing boring jobs like yardwork or servicing my lady*. I just plug an audiobook into my ears and knock out those chores. . Both the book and the job whizz by. But instead of doing the dishes or weeding with Water for Elephants, I chose to do other auditory things. The days-long NFL draft came in handy.
* "My lady" is the term I use for my car. Get your mind out of the gutter!
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Reading Progress
February 20, 2012
– Shelved
March 30, 2015
–
Started Reading
May 5, 2015
–
Finished Reading
Comments Showing 1-41 of 41 (41 new)
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![Down arrow](https://s.gr-assets.com/assets/down_arrow-1e1fa5642066c151f5e0136233fce98a.gif)
![Shelby *trains flying monkeys*](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1463498958p1/1053760.jpg)
![Lady Drasmin](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1576235190p1/21969242.jpg)
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
![Erica](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1558548351p1/2644090.jpg)
I'm pretty sure that will only make you have cold legs and constipation which, contrary to misogynistic belief, is not more ladyish. Anyone can have cold legs and/or be constipated.
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
I'm pretty sure that will only make you have cold le..."
My mom was very cold and very constipated and she is my ideal of womanhood, and you can not tell me different!
![Deanna](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1477413036p1/9205349.jpg)
![Phyllis](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1666373419p1/2500840.jpg)
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
Yes! The old man parts are written so much better than the reminiscences of him as a young man.
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
When it comes down to it, it's all subjective. You know what you like and that's what matters.
![carol.](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1307934801p1/3978225.jpg)
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
Well, I like to get in touch with my feminine side. For instance, if I had boobs, I'd touch them.
![Erica](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1558548351p1/2644090.jpg)
I totally believe this about you.
If you'd like, I can help.
Here's what you do:
Eat ice-cream for every meal. And hamburgers. And lard.
Do not move unless necessary (to go to the freezer for more ice-cream)
Slouch. All the time.
You will soon have boobs, three of them - two up top and a way bigger one beneath!
Helpful, yes?
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
I totally believe this about you.
If you'd like, I can help.
Here's what you do:
Eat ice-cream for every meal. And hamburgers. And lard.
Do not move unless necessary (to go to the freezer for more ice-cream)
Slouch. All the time.
..."
I can do these things! I've done them before, and I know I have the perseverance to obtain and maintain my ideal body!
Yes, I can!
PS: You should be a life coach.
![carol.](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1307934801p1/3978225.jpg)
Alternatively you can hire Troy and Abed to help do a boob transplant. Of course, the last time they did that, they did a foot transplant with it.
https://theraptorpack.files.wordpress...
![Erica](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1558548351p1/2644090.jpg)
When I am a millionaire, I will send you only the finest, fattiest ice-creams for your breasticles.
Bwahahahahaha & eeyew, Carol!
Only, Troy and Abed are not to be trusted with much of anything. Also, they are probably too busy to try another transplant right now, what with six seasons and a movie, and all.
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
![carol.](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1307934801p1/3978225.jpg)
BTW, as soon as I'm fired from my job, I'm hiring Erica as a life coach.
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
They aren't any more, I'll tell you what!
![Trudi](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1446613110p1/1416912.jpg)
I was masochistic enough to watch the movie. Blergh.
![Travelin](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1381132872p1/21707944.jpg)
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
All day, every day, Trudi!
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
Yeah, I wanted to call it quits halfway through, but my stubbornness puts mules to shame.
![Kelly (and the Book Boar)](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1530646317p1/11183856.jpg)
![Erica](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1558548351p1/2644090.jpg)
Dude, I gave this four stars. It's the shaming, all over again.
And I listened to the audiobook, just like Jason. Though, to my credit, I told Jason to stop reading/listening because it wouldn't end well for him but he didn't heed the warning so his hatred can't make us have shame for our like...tred because he was warned. WARNED, I say!
I don't even know where the logic in that argument is but it doesn't matter because I am right and the DUFF is stupid, dammit!
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
* my penis
![Jason Koivu](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1560521450p1/1742824.jpg)
Definitely. I'd say I'm in the minority in my opinion of this one.
![Jacqueline Joyce](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1481403409p1/62415439.jpg)
If you're halfway through and it's not doing much for you, you're going to be slogging to get to the end. I mean, I read this awhile ago and don't actually remember it that well but I do remember that it didn't change in the final quarter to become a new story, soooo...
This may be one of those very rare instances that you are:
1) not girly enough
2) reading it wrong
3) just not the audience for this particular tale.