So terrible. The writing is flat and lacking characterization. Everything described is done in the same way over and over: sparkling blue eyes, the heSo terrible. The writing is flat and lacking characterization. Everything described is done in the same way over and over: sparkling blue eyes, the height of fashion, breathtaking beauty, a great beauty, unique, perfect, loyal. She even repeats the same descriptions within a few sentences. I cannot believe these are bestsellers. The writing is terribly amateurish....more
You can't judge a book by its cover. Seriously. That's really super true.
The blurb, the cover! I was pumped. I couldn't finish it.
I'm sorry to all oYou can't judge a book by its cover. Seriously. That's really super true.
The blurb, the cover! I was pumped. I couldn't finish it.
I'm sorry to all of the readers that thought, "What the spell?" was totes adorbs, but I can't. It's so stupid, never mind being ever so precious. It got old fast. I mean like, brush-your-teeth fast. Like, it's-not-delivery-it's-Digiorno's fast....more
Wow. These are so stupid, it hurts. Thank God I didn't pay for them.
I'm actually embarrassed that I clicked on these. That's how bad the writing is. Wow. These are so stupid, it hurts. Thank God I didn't pay for them.
I'm actually embarrassed that I clicked on these. That's how bad the writing is. The premise made me laugh out loud. A serial killer that doesn't kill because he loves his first victim, who he married? WTF. Now they profile? The cops are blown away because they solved a big case in a single day? NO. I'm gonna stop you right there.
It's rare that I cross paths with something this terrible. Worst book I've read this year, hands down....more
Normally I don't keep reading books that irritate me, but I just kept punishing myself with this gem of a novel.
I'm always wary of synopsis that promiNormally I don't keep reading books that irritate me, but I just kept punishing myself with this gem of a novel.
I'm always wary of synopsis that promise that fans of awesome book, or awesome author with LOVE this novel. Apparently, fans of The Hunger Games should love The Office of Mercy. Well, I loved The Hunger Games?!?! Ergo, I loved The Office of Mercy. Uh, no. No I didn't.
The Office of Mercy is a dystopian that tells the story of Natasha, a citizen in America-Five. American-Five is a 305 year old post-storm settlement that "swept" 5.9 billion folks from the face of the earth. And by "swept," I mean bombed the earth back into the Stone Age. The Alphas, who established the community and the eternal life of the community, are stoked about this monumental achievement.
Oh, but wait! See, some super smart folks got away and lived. The Office of Mercy (yes, there's an office of just about everything, including government, agriculture, and the dumbest, exit) is charged with sweeping the remaining tribes that near their dome perimeter. The thought is that The Office of Mercy is dispatching the outsiders to a better place where they won't suffer. Gah. *eyeroll*
The premise is intriguing, but the execution is a total fail.
1. The book bugged me immediately. At first it was the name of our protagonist; Natasha. The author overuses the name to the point of distraction. Have you ever met a new mother who finds excuse after excuse to use their baby's name repeatedly because they like the sound of it? Natasha, Natasha, Natasha! I wanted to stab my eyeballs out.
2. There were info dumps concerning the empathy code that the citizens follow so that they can murder and be super happy. The code could have scared the shit out of me, but instead it was YA simplistic and about as deep as a puddle. Since I'm an adult, and this is published by Viking as an adult novel, I had to rage a bit.
3. The terminology in any sci-fi can be hard to accept. I never accepted the vocabulary choices in this book. The elevator is called "the elephant," there is an office of everything, and they don't abbreviate. Seriously? When the citizens swear, they say, "By Alpha," or some such nonsense. It's truly obnoxious.
4. Natasha is only twenty-four, so it makes perfect sense that her love interest in the book is creepy older guy and her BOSS, Jeffery. Jeffery totes has a thing for Natasha and has since she was a little girl and he gave her extra chocolates. OOOOOH MY GOD! MY MIND!!!!! Jeffery is so not swoon worthy it hurts. I didn't buy their romance AT ALL. NONE. NO. Natasha is such a freaking Mary Sue and then she goes off with Jeffery and I had to scream. I didn't think her choices could get worse. I didn't, but then JEFFERY the creeper.
5. I haven't read pseudo science this bad since Feed, by Mira Grant. At one point, Natasha is injured and they doctor from the Office of Health tells her that she gave Natasha a few dozen bundles of nuero-synapses and 40 billion fresh blood cells. Wow! That sounds technical and completely legit.
6. The book has nothing new to offer us. 15% in and I was sure it was a bad rip-off of Under the Never Sky, which I loved. In UTNS, the protagonist lives in a dome, post-storm, has interactions with outsiders, and has access to a virtual world called The Realms. The Office of Mercy has The Pretends. Again, the name alone is painful.
7. Where is the scary murder government? Apparently, the same folks who built the dome don't keep tabs on their citizens very well because Natasha and friends can go in and out without detection. Really? These are the guys that killed everyone, but a handful of anti-sweep protesters are allowed to hold meetings in the library and nobody is monitoring the exits? Mmm, kay.
If it's post-apocolyse/dystopian you're looking for, just skip this one. There are so many good dystopians out there. This just isn't one of them.
Way too many descriptors, that were clunky. The sentence structure is crap. Pratt seems to think that every tree needs a poetic turn of words, that evWay too many descriptors, that were clunky. The sentence structure is crap. Pratt seems to think that every tree needs a poetic turn of words, that every sunny day should be populated my winsome clouds and flocks of snowy egrets.
I could not finish this book, as the writing is abysmal....more
Here's why I eye-rolled myself into a headache while reading Feed
Here we are, 28 years into the future and the blogging world is the shit! The world has turned to blogs for their reliable truth after the zombie apocalypse. Please tell me why I don't have to explain how dumb that is? Fine. Not a big deal? Okay.
The bloggers have broken themselves down into three categories:
Newsies--Yes, as in from the ancient movie of the same title. These folks are straight reporters.
Irwins--As in Steve Irwin. These are the action/dare devil reporters. Oh for fuck's sake! It's 28 years into the future, Irwin has been dead now for how many years? But no, we're Irwins!
Fictionals--See bad stories and worse poems.
While I'm raging about pop-culture, which seems to have stalled out in this book at 2001, how the hell do we have Newsies and Irwins and nobody's heard of Buffy the Vampire Slayer? M'Kay. Sure.
The technology seems to have stalled out around the early 2000s as well. Apparently, Georgia needs three cell phones--er, why? Also, why the fuck do I need to know this? Lots of dumb details really weigh the story down.
That was annoying, but more annoying were the pages worth of the setting up of the technology. Dear, Lord! I don't give a flying fuck why you connected this to that, or the other. I don't need to read more pages about Buffy fixing this and wires being connected. No! You are wasting my time!
Oh, and don't get me started on the finger pricking blood tests! Apparently they have to hurt because the pain is psychological BARLB WHMOLUM. SCIENCE!
So, consumers don't want a blood scanner that doesn't hurt? You know, because they NEVER have to scan? Oh, wait! They do have to scan? Like ever other page? Oh. So why the fuck does it have to hurt and prick every fucking finger? GARBLE BLARB, SCIENCE!
Meanwhile in politics...this boring shit happened.
Yes, Feed is far more about the politics of the future than anything else--especially zombies. Surprise, fuckers! This zombie book is not about zombies! We get to hear all about the state of the union from George, who is the most cliche, unlikeable, hypocritical character ever!
George and why I hate her:
Wears nondescript black clothing with lots of pockets and boots
Doesn't like touching or affection of any kind
Does not like animals
Has a strange relationship with adopted brother
Believes that showing emotion is weak
Is an egocentric asshole who likes the sound of her own voice
Loves to power play everyone, including her employees
Grant writes George these horrible blog posts about her musings about the world. They suck! First, there's WAY too many of them. Second, they all start to blend together. Third, and this is 450 pages later, I began to realize that Grant is most likely the kind of person who loves the sound of her own voice. Oh, the self-important blathering!
Overall, this book is awful for all kinds of reasons! It's way too fucking long, the characters are completely without merit, and the story suuuukkkkxxx! Once I realized who the bad guy was, I was so done. Who wants to keep reading self-important BLAR BARL BLARB when you know who the cliche bad guy is. Can you say, President Snow, much?
Feed feels very much as though it were written ten years ago, or more. The pop culture references were terrible and could have been solved by changing the stupid terminology, or just not making the damn book set SO freaking far into the future. Newsies and Irwins? I about gagged. How dumb.
But here's the thing about dumb. I can suspend disbelief even for dumb if the characters and story work, but they didn't. George is awful and the plot is so predictable it actually made my head hurt. The world building was good, but honestly, a world without a plot is just a world.
By the time I was finished, I found myself enjoying The Poison Princess. This is an oddity of a novel.
First of all, I know many have issues with JacksBy the time I was finished, I found myself enjoying The Poison Princess. This is an oddity of a novel.
First of all, I know many have issues with Jackson, but I gave him a pass in most cases. He is after all charged with keeping Evie safe. And let's face it, Evie can be a real pain in the ass. Still, I was just not into him. He drinks way too much, and frankly, Cole wrote him a bit too mean for my tastes, which is saying a lot! I love the Dom type, me. ;)
The first 100 pages are character building, which could have been edited down. Cole uses the word "couture" way too much, when really she means super expensive. We get that Evie is popular. I don't get why she's popular but Cole insists she nice to everyone. Could have fooled me. Really, I'm okay with Evie, I just think Cole could have made me believe that Evie was the super sweetie Cole insisted she was. Does that make sense?
The story is a YA romance, meets The Hunger Games, with a dash of your Great-Aunt's Jeanie's lust for tarot card readings. 1-900-psychic-now, ya'll! The pacing is poor, but the story is original. I just don't know about this one. ...more
Short on Story, Harris' Newest Book Fails Again*** **Or, How Harris Let Alisha Down (who loved Sookie forever and ever)**
Rating details: I gave this thShort on Story, Harris' Newest Book Fails Again*** **Or, How Harris Let Alisha Down (who loved Sookie forever and ever)**
Rating details: I gave this three stars out of pity, then I got mad the more I thought about the crap I'd just read, so I changed it to one star.
I'm about to lay down the harsh on the newest installment in a series I adore and it isn't going to be pretty because quite frankly, I'm pissed. If you want to disagree with me, please do so. I have a lot to complain about and I didn't put it all down, so please, tell me HOW AWESOME this book is. Just try.
First, there wasn't much story. My head was NOT spinning with new info to absorb as some readers have expressed. Harris does not succeed in pulling her series out of a nose dive. It wasn't better than the last book. Those that maintain the opposite seem to have come by an advanced copy of the book. Perhaps you gave the book a few pity stars because you love Sook? Or maybe, you are like I was, HOPEFUL. Hopeful that the story would advance? Hopeful it would improve? I get you.
I'm sad that Harris is letting this series die, as Sookie has been much loved. I'm sick of her though. I'm sick of Harris too for all she complains about Sookie; in her 20+ years of writing she's never had a character that's been so popular.
**Warning--side rant about the TRUE BLOOD EXCUSE**
Too many times I've read the excuse that because It-Was-Made-Into-True-Blood-the-Work-Suffered. That line of BS does not follow, folks. Harris is the author of her books. Alan Ball is the creator of True Blood. Harris' book have lost their way. True Blood is HBO's biggest money maker since the Sopranos. If Harris was unable to continue quality story lines for the series, she didn't need to accept the contract. Instead, she accepted the contract, and punished her fans. That's right Charlaine, I'm feeling punished for having loved the previous books. It's quite cruel.
**Back to the book**
The plot did contain a mildly interesting mystery, but there wasn't much push to solve it. As a reader, I wasn't concerned the way I ought to be. For example, mysteries like Who is Plotting to Bomb The Pyramid of Giza Hotel?, Who Killed Maria Starr?, or Where the Hell is Bill? made me read on.
Too many glossed over days left me skimming for actual story. Harris falls back on her standby Sook went to the store, picked up her mail, cooked dinner, and washed her hair because there were no great revelations today BS. Listen, you can't do that. It's cheating. There's no story. I'll let you do it once, maybe twice, but by the fifth time, if it weren't on my Kindle, I would have chucked the book across the room.
Where's the beef? There was relatively zero Eric, and what was there became horribly flat. Bill has more moments, which are nice, but again, there's not much there either. What we are left with is head time with a character that needs a script for Zoloft. Being in Sookie's head isn't a pleasant place.
**Relationship Gripes**
If we are to buy that Sookie is in love with Eric, I'd expect more passion. Yell, fight, screw, but do something! If she were in love with Sam, I'd expect more than vanilla. I don't buy any of it. Rather than tell Eric where he could stick it, Sookie hung up on Eric or told him to go so many times I lost count--and what's worse is that in most cases, he'd only been present in the scene for a page give or take.
Even if you don't like Eric, Sookie runs from nearly all confrontation, which makes me dislike her, and made me ask, why? I have a few theories, but the most plausible is that Harris simply didn't want to write it. Gosh, that would take effort!
As an author, one doesn't need to destroy characters just to end a romance between them. Leave us with something, please, even if we end up hating Eric, at least we'll feel something for him, other than tired.
Absent from book 12
Sex New and fresh descriptors Physical attraction to anyone that is exciting Fun, humor, anything interesting Engrossing mystery
Present in excess
Angst Avoidance Cooking, picking up mail Waitressing Second tier characters doing boring town stuff
**WARNING: Bon Temps is a snooze, move to Monroe**
Harris spends too much time in Bon Temps with D characters. I don't care about Tara and JB. I don't care about Jason and Michelle, or Holly and Hoyt, or...you get the picture. Harris fails badly. They don't advance the plot.
WAIT, Alisha. Isn't there a point to all the babies and weddings? Yes, but there are better ways to let us know that Sookie wants a family without Tara and JB--who are the poster couple for surrender-to-any-nice-man-so-you-can-have-kids message that is becoming all too familiar in this series. Gag! What a pessimistic point of view on love and marriage! Should Sookie settle for less like Tara, who married JB because she wanted kids and he loved her? Dear God, NO! In many ways, this is the most demoralizing aspect of book 12.
Harris created a world of fantasy and romance, but is bull dozing it with a level of reality I find concerning. I miss Eric wearing leather, Sookie running from potential kidnappers and hiding in Bill's hidey hole--naked. I miss Sam turning into a lion. I miss Claudine showing up to a fight in pajamas. I miss the silliness and fun.
Listen, just get it over with. Send Sookie to Sam, send Eric away, leave Bill pining as he always has. I don't care anymore what happens to her and neither does Harris. ...more
**spoiler alert** There are a lot of reviews about this book that mention the feminist movement and how McGuire sets it back a good 50 years, but real**spoiler alert** There are a lot of reviews about this book that mention the feminist movement and how McGuire sets it back a good 50 years, but really, I disagree. Relationships are not always smooth. They contain a multitude of pitfalls that requie navagation. That being said, I took issue with this book in other areas.
First, let me say that the dialog felt true to me. McGuire has a handle on setting the scene. The book is full of good one liners that I appreciated.
Again, McGuire starts strong, but flounders after the second breakup between Travis and Abby. The back and forth makes the reader lose all sympathy for Abby, who clearly understands what she's doing to Travis. Like I said, McGuire does realistic conflict well, but it's also her weakness. Why is Abby so hell bent on beating herself up? We don't know. There's some bad daddy issues she needs to work on, but the link to the daddy issues are never fully reconciled in Abby. McGuire doesn't make it clear why there is a turn around in their relationship, she just does it, because it MUST be so. One minute she's vowing to go her own way, the next she's ready to marry. The resolution is frighteningly quick and unsatisfying.
Abby is annoying. We know we should be frustrated with her, as all the characters are frustrated with her, but it's too much and sympathy plummets. After sticking the knife in Travis and twisting it a good half dozen times, I'd be just as unlikely to trust her as well, so it makes the last scene of the book ridiculous. Basically, he's laying there watching her sleep because he thinks when she wakes, she'll leave again--and he's SO justified in this fear. This is where McGuire ruins the book completely, just flushing it down the toilet. Abby's reassurance is that now their married and she has a tattoo, so it's a done deal in her mind. Really? Really! Yeah, Travis. Just forget that she left you a good 5-6 times in the space of a school year. I'm sure everything will be just fine.
I read a lot, so I very much wonder about the five star reviews of this book. Are they forced from a desperate publisher? I don't know. All the fiMeh.
I read a lot, so I very much wonder about the five star reviews of this book. Are they forced from a desperate publisher? I don't know. All the five stars actually made me look back at the book and skim it, asking myself what I hated about this book. I really didn't like any of it. The ghost that were supposed to be scary, were not. The characters were lackluster. It was just super cliche and poorly executed.
What I do know is that this is not a good book.
There were some good elements, but it was mostly hokey. It was not suspenseful in the least. The ghosts talked A LOT to the point I was thinking, just tell them what you need them to do. Dumb, dumb, dumb.
The characters were as flat as the apparitions. Here's Zoey, she's lovable and likes to cook. Here's Margot! She's angry and a professor. Gag.
The well written areas of the book deal with music. I particularly enjoyed the club scenes and details therein, but those scenes were few and far between...more
Still yummy, but come on, let's proofread, okay? And again, if you are going to write a book set in America with American characters, please for the lStill yummy, but come on, let's proofread, okay? And again, if you are going to write a book set in America with American characters, please for the love of God, get rid of the Brit slang. It pulls me straight out of the book, and makes me roll my eyes.
I still like Ana and Christian, and I still hate Bella and Edward, so why did I like this series? I don't know, but I did. ...more
**spoiler alert** This started strong, but lost me around page 300. I really began to feel like the characters were all one person, rather than indivi**spoiler alert** This started strong, but lost me around page 300. I really began to feel like the characters were all one person, rather than individuals. I got sick of the self-indulgent rantings of each character and the bleak outlook of America based on a hyper liberal view point.
I found the characters to be devoid of real human emotion. If you believe that everyone goes around hating the masses and fantasizing about "f%*$ing" all day long, then sure, Freedom is packed with raw emotion! And, if you do those things, you must have a very high IQ, indeed!
The dialogue was done badly. Anytime a character laughed, it reminded me of bad texting or Facebook, "Ha, ha, ha!" Sometimes Franzen mixes it up and just writes, "Ha!" Oh, good job, Franzen! You wouldn't want to work on character development or anything like that! Oh, wait, Lalitha really likes to say, "Be that as it may". Of course, you pointed that out via Walter, so then I was watching for it. How tricky of you?! GAG!
The female characters are nearly worthless. Apparently, women are full of "female bullsh*it", but because we are so packed with FB, he only takes the time to make Patty a complete mess. Lalitha is very one dimensional, Connie is psychotic, and Jonathan's sister, is an evil slut in comparison to the male characters who are heroic and authentic. Even when the male characters have ulterior motives, we are made to believe that their motives are somehow better and more deserving than their female counterparts.
I had grown to like Walter's character until the move to DC where he immediately fell for Lalitha, who I found arrogant. We as readers are asked to believe that because Walter and Patty are having difficulties that he is suddenly fantasizing about Lalitha all day long? Somehow it's believable that a character like Walter wouldn't ask his assistant to find new housing when he is so very tempted by her? Come on! Patty is apparently so racked with guilt for sleeping with Richard four years prior that she remains married and living with Lalitha upstairs for years while Walter salivates over her? I found it incredibly unbelievable that Walter would tolerate having a temptation so near and that Patty wouldn't get over her guilt and just leave Walter and Lalitha to it.
Again and again we're reassured as readers that the characters are "intelligent". If by intelligent you mean lying, selfish, and over-educated, then yes, by all means, they are intelligent.
Overall, I am too moderate to fall under Freedom's leftist spell. I don't think that the New York Times is the end-all-be-all of American culture. I don't care for art films, bad garage bands, or folks who refer to their parents by their first names. It simply became too much to swallow without question....more
Alisha-Dear Constant Reader
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